Okay, I still need to keep blogging about shit, I don’t even know what, but fuck it y’know?

It’s been a while, but things have been pretty uneventful in my precious little life. And by precious, I mean shitty. Lately, my illness is still playing up but it’s slowly calming down. I’ve been playing games alot more lately, but not really been downloading them like I used to. I’ve got my new  360, my new TV and I’m quite content at the moment apart from one thing.

This year and next year will be the biggest nerdgasm for me as most of the games that I want are coming out between now and december 31st 2012. Okay, so that isn’t nothing to worry about right? Oh, but of course, my ‘precious little life’ strikes again in the form of money. The Benjamins, the green, the dollar, the coinage, pennies, pence, dough, paper, whatever. I’m pretty much piss poor lately because I, unsurprising to everyone, am still jobless.

Okay, I’ve saved enough money to put a pre-order down on The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, but really? Gears 3 is around the corner, Halo: CEA is coming soon along with others, and I can’t afford all of them. GRR! The woe of being a cash-short gamer.

Apart from games, I’m actually quite happy lately due to more recent.. ‘activities’ with friends. I say ‘activities’ because as much as I don’t get to see them often, I still talk to them and sometimes some of them pop over to see me. As much as I want to go out and see THEM, my illness doesn’t apparently like that idea and decides to go all out on me. But as I said, I’m getting there and slowly getting it back into remission and hopefully then I can actually hold a job and see people more often. 

Anyway, I don’t really have much more to say for now, but I’ll try and remember to blog again soon.

Ash, out.  

So it turns out, I feel like I need to get help with my illness.. After nearly 3 years I thought I’d have everything all figured out, but the only thing I know is I have a vague idea of what triggers it… I want to get proper help.. What to do, what to take, how to manage it, what kind of job could I get that won’t exacerbate it, what other medication could work.. Bleh. I’m constantly worried about how it’s affecting my life, and as much as I don’t let on that it affects it, I’m worried about getting a job, going out alot, being social etc.. I hate having to use it as a reason to not being able to do something because people will end up wondering if I’m using it as an excuse or if it’s genuinely being a problem.. Doctors tomorrow, I don’t care.. I’ve had enough and I need shit sorting out as soon as possible, my life has become uncomfortable again.

Ash, out.

So since release, I’ve been playing a game called Terraria.  This game originally looks like a 2D Minecraft clone, until you delve deeper into it and it becomes some sort of Castlevania, Metroid, Minecraft hybrid. Pretty much like if Simon Belmont screwed Samus Aran in a shelter they built in a Minecraft world and then had a bastard child together. Well, the second I got into that game, that bastard child of three awesome games became an awesome game itself after it’s growing up stage. There is a lot of potential to a game like this in the sense that there is more that can be added, community modding support, map editors, the whole shebang. Hopefully, the game only just being released, it’ll have more updates to come and a lot more content to be included. There are currently only 3 bosses that I’ve actually encountered, and I’ve defeated all 3 of them. Two of them almost single handedly (Albeit having some of the best gear in the game through an item editor. Yeah slap my hand, I cheated, so what.) along with one of my friends. 

There isn’t really much I’ve been doing apart from having friends over and having my arse on the seat of the loo alot because my illness doesn’t seem to want to piss off. Tomorrow should be fun though. I have a friend coming from Nottingham called Josh visiting tomorrow and I’m gonna pick up Astin from down to come join us for a big drunken gamefest. Fun times, yes? 

Anyway, I don’t know what else to say so..

Ash, out.

Lol, blogging fail again, not posted in ages.

Okay, so lately I have been quite distant with everyone and I don’t exactly know why, but I know I have. I seem to be neglecting the people who I used to rely on all the time and I’m concerned about what I’m not doing about it. I’m pretty sure everyone has gotten used to me not being around them so I don’t know whether I should make a push to fit back in or to just leave it and stay secluded in my room day after day, for all I know, they probably don’t give two shits any more. I guess that is my fault as I’ve not been putting in the effort or I’ve been making excuses just because I can’t be bothered to get back out there. Although, I guess I should start going back out whenever I can after I’ve finished the three month ‘mandatory’ Skills for work shit at TNG where I had to do landscaping for the entire three months, never in my life have I worked so hard. Then again.. Everyone nowadays is probably too busy.. I did say I’d go visit someone on Tuesday after I’ve signed on, and I’m going to. I just hope thing aren’t going to be awkward..

On other news, I have my new PC which plays recent games quite well and I’m fairly happy about it. Since my Xbox’s laser broke, I’ve been unable to get my fix on the console so I’ve turned to rely on my PC for gaming. Since it broke the games I bought for PC are.. (In order)

• Portal 2 (Pre-Purchase)
• Darksiders
• Aliens Vs Predator
• Audiosurf
• Borderlands Game of the year edition
• Rush
• 1… 2… 3… KICK IT!
• Magicka
• Mass Effect
• and Inside a Star Filled Sky

These games where bought within the last two months and the total paid comes up to: £68.93 And that’s just in the last two months. I’ve been taking PC gaming more seriously and my PC games list that I’ve legitimately bought or earned is bigger than my 360 collection without a doubt. Although I’ve become quite anti-social irl, with online people I don’t stop talking to people, and in all honesty that sometimes gets in the way of me gaming, because I don’t like to ignore people and there are certain people that would get worried if I didn’t speak to them. Hopefully I can sort these things out within the upcoming weeks.

Ash, out.

Version 4 of my incomplete Bowser’s Castle remix

This is a Incomplete Version 2 of the remix of Bowser’s Castle (N64 version) that I am making on Fruity Loops. =]

Okay.. Lately I haven’t really been feeling myself. I have no idea why, but I’ve been feeling a tad bit depressed and lonely the last few days and my head has been fucking around with me all at that point and I don’t get why, and the crap thing is, it is getting worse every day. Nothing substantial has happened lately to warrant this feeling so what the hell is it about..? I mean, I guess I could chalk it up to one of life’s great mysteries and accept that this feeling proves I’m human, but that isn’t enough for me. I want to know why I feel like this and sort it out. 

So lately, this winter malarkey is getting on my nerves. Yeah, I’m not outside much during the winter, but for god’s sake, when I’m out there I just want to freeze over and be done with it. Shit hasn’t got this real in ages and I don’t remember having to wrap up in so many layers just to keep remotely warm a few years back. I want winter to finish up as soon as possible to be quite honest.

I’ve not long bought two games on Steam and to be quite honest, I’m not regretting both purchases one bit. The first game I bought was Left 4 Dead 2. Despite already having this on the 360 and had my fill of it, meeting some new people got me wanting to play it with them, so I bought it. Not just for them people but because I prefer them kind of games on the PC as I’m more… Responsive, I could say. I bought this for £15 which I didn’t mind forking out for because I will have this game forever. No disks to scratch up, no messy installs, no losing CD-Keys, nothing like that. A clean, legit copy of the game. 

The second game I bought, I was already familiar with because I have played it before. This game is Evil Genius. It’s a base building kind of game where you are plonked on a remote island, left to plot out and build a base to eventually take over the world. I had alot of fun on this game way back when and I’m sure I will continue to have fun on it now. And for the VERY low price of £1.75, how could I not take this up? I mean, yeah, I could just pirate a copy, but lately, I wanted to have a physical or a legitimate representation of games and films. I don’t mind forking out a couple of quid for a very underrated game. 

And yes, I have noticed I haven’t written alot as of late, but can you blame me? My life isn’t exactly exciting and I don’t think alot will happen to make it exciting. But oh well, that IS life for you. I will try to get more things down, but if I do, it’ll end up being a diary instead of a blog, just mentioning the same things over, and over, and over, and over.. You don’t want that, right?

Anyway, I think I’m going to go bed pretty soon, as my head is being all emo still and I don’t like it. I’m actually disagreeing with my head for once. So yeah, fuck you brain. 

Peach out, Ash.

Lately I haven’t been my usual self. But wait, I have my reasons. Some of them won’t be good to some people but this is my life we’re talking about and I need these changes to happen. 

Okay so change number one. I have been using the internet less and less for the last few days. Reason being; I need to get rid of my internet addiction and stop it controlling my life. I need to be able to make decisions on my own without ‘consulting’ my computer. So far, it has worked out for me, I have a lot more time on my hands without having to worry about things to do with the internet, which is great.

Change number two. I have been knuckling down with life-orientated things such as making a CV and trying to take my job-search more seriously. So far, I have a CV and I don’t know if it is any good at the moment, but I’ll get there eventually. 

My third change is that being of the little things I’ve been doing. Such as turning off everything before I go to sleep and blah blah. So far, I have been doing well and I’m not going to stop now. 

Overall, I am starting to do well and beginning to take life seriously, realising what I should and shouldn’t be doing, and so far, it is working out for me, even just a little bit, it’s still a start. 

Completely off topic; I pre-ordered Fallout: New Vegas and Fable 3 on the 15th and apparently Fallout: New Vegas has been dispatched due to the release date being in 2 days time and the free postage is in two days. Originally I thought that I wouldn’t get the game until monday until I checked up the order on Game.co.uk

Anyway, that’s all I really have to say for now.

Barely anyone is interested, only one person actually said anything about the blog so after this post, I’m just gonna stop. There is no real point to blogging to anything when barely anyone even pays attention or even acknowledges that it even exists.So yeah..

Laters.

That I have not written a blog post in a good while. This is probably because no one even pays attention to the babbling shit of a 19 year old loser. In all fairness, what exactly is interesting in my life that makes me want to blog about it? Okay, let me tell you some of the things I have been doing as of late and YOU tell me if it is all worth wasting ten to twenty minutes of my life writing so some people can read this and think the exact same fucking thing I am. “Why the hell is he blogging about complete and utter shit?” Anyway.

Lately I’ve been getting back into gaming again, seeing as I have bought StarCraft II and have been enjoying it thoroughly. I have already conquered the campaign on Normal difficulty, but I’m sure that I won’t stride beyond that. The multi-player is what is keeping me on it as I am a competitive person when it comes to gaming and StarCraft II is one of those games that let me challenge people to a game that they would likely mop the floor with me on. Either way, it is still a good bit of fun.

Also, another thing I have been getting into is the entire Scott Pilgrim series. Yes, this includes the comic, the game adaptation of the comic and the film adaptation of the comic. Yes, I did say game and film adaptations because they are literally the same thing except from different formats. Is that a good thing? Yes, it damn well is. The original creativity of the Scott Pilgrim comics have been captured into the game, making it just a worthy addition to the comics as another one would have been. The film is also a great addition. It is a very risky thing to produce a film adaptation of a already good comic series, but with Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, it has obviously paid off. The film has received positive reviews and in my personal opinion, it is probably one of the best films I have seen in a good while.

Oh, you want more?
Well lets see..

I’ve finally pulled my finger out of my arse and got an appointment with a specialist doctor regarding my illness and I am due to see them on the 6th. I really want to get this surgery, and if I do get it, I may be out of commission for quite some time as I recover. But as soon as the recovering is done, I would be able to lead a relatively normal life. Good times.

That is pretty much all I have to say. See what I mean, all utter shit that I just spewed all over your screen. Have a good time washing it off and comment if this actually interested you or whatknot because to be quite honest, I don’t anyone even cares.

Ash, out.